Poetry and Writing
Home | ''2009: A Year in Freefall'' | Liz's blog
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
''poem 4/28/11''
fear lives in stagnant water
lives in stagnant water
stagnant cesspool
worn out, repetitive motion
flooding reasonable thought
binding heart, arteries
clogged with the past
fear holds me
with sleeping feet
in stagnant life waters
''poem 4/25-26/11''
list
making a list
to avoid reality
of doing
so, make a list
twelve lines long
cross a few lines out
move on
to follow a list
would define a plan
plans meant to be broken
at least changed
I mean, I wish I had
but I didn't
scratch that one off
''12:05 a.m., July 6 2009''
Night, night
Sleep tight
You are free to go
Sweet Mama bird
Into the dark minutes
Of this new day
Night, night
Sleep tight
Don't let the bed bugs bite
I hope your journey is light
No more obsessing and worry
Free bird soaring into the night
''Desperate for Balance''
Whirring, buzzing, ring, ding
The head can’t find
Footsteps landing
Noises ping, voices ring
Pillowed falling in my dreams
Which way is down
Far, far away
Bile is rising up and over
All the while whirring, buzzing, ring, ping, dinging
Even when the spinning stops
Nothing is concrete
Deep in one ear rising
The ring, ding buzzing, whirring pings
Decorate my every thought
Lest I forget how close the spinning
Take the pills, forget the salt
Desperate for balance
Who takes me seriously?
No one sees or feels my dizzy deafness
One foot carefully placed in front of the other
Head turning left, right, up, down
Keep the orchestra playing low in routine
Least it burst forth
Blasting me down a forgotten hole
Much too deep for saving
''Ode to Paula''
She had boxes and boxes
Piled high to the ceiling
She said she did not think
Boxes were appealing
She stacked them and moved them
From one place to another
But to her dismay
The boxes consumed her
They crouched and encircled
Her futon retreat
She lay with the remote
Snoozing, cruising cable TV
Moving closer, yet closer
The boxes united
Trapped her, boxed her
Relishing her stupor
Hands, side by side
upon a rising chest
Paralyzed, frozen
Idle
Idle
Idle thoughts
Racing
Racing with hands paralyzed
Tortured mind
Playing on rewind
Over and over
A moment in time
Hands upon rising chest
Side by side
Paralyzed, frozen
Tortured mind on rewind
''Pie Trip''
Pie, pie
We are through with pie
I think we never liked it
Potato hills
With rolling trees
Through ribbon roads
On the Kiamichi Trail
We walk a path through town
Breakfast dining
With a window seat
Pie, pie, pie
I know we never liked it
Waiting, shuffling
We catch a breath
I buy a bag
We pack it
Trees
Beautiful, rolling hills of trees
Rolling on hills, endless hills
Tracing the dark, the light, the twisted
With our shaded eyes
Eye of brown
Eye of blue
In green these eyes are drowning
''June Goodbye''
Surface, wind, twitter, song
Green reflection, gone
Garden pathway, wondrous song
We shared a time not long
''Mom''
Garden digging
Music loving
Hymn singer
Floor sweeper
Shy accountant
Protector
Homemaking queen
Building up layers
Only the core
Was ever real
''Tressa''
Brown hair, ear phones
Painting at an easel
Dancing, humming
Happy girl
Snacks in the hallways
Cardboard crackers with cheese
Sharing war stories
Tales of disease
Laughing, chatting
Relaxed in the dark
Listening to lectures
Babbling art
Laughing, smiling, winking
Cough
Reading Popol Vuh
Find feathered serpent
Over coffee with you
Art-show hopping
Name dropping
Shopping
Shopping for a man
Patterned walk ways of contemplation
Out of the valley of activity
Into a place of knowing
''Be still and know that I am God.''
Morning sounds from my bed
Plants are growing, grass is seeding
Deep within a silent pleading
Paint is calling
My eyes are falling
Falling back into the mourning
What will take the place of you
Plants growing, grass blowing
All outside a sweet, sad pleading
And the paint is calling
Slow, quiet, lazy
Acceptance, quiet acceptance
Where is the champagne
Why does my hip ache
How many pills do we take?
Chatting, rattling
Scraping, snort
Shuffling
''Zephyr Betty Ann''
She curls her tail
Paws stretched forward, elbows low
Brown eyes shining
Curtsy she gives
Timed with a yawn
She is begging for treats
Our spoiled Betty dog
Backyard gardening
A therapeutic process
Digging into the perennial rooting
Of the beauty of insanity
''Fire Fly Free Thought''
lying flat, limp
shimmered salt
weak
picked over
slightly damaged
braided over top
point simple
front porch
summer waiting
breezy in the shade
humming
frayed jeans
old leaves lying
in green blades
of young grass
far away, I see you
dim images blend
into the night
stitching time
watching a firefly
in the garden
watching fire fly
laying in the yard
on a blanket
watching a firefly
''Fishing''
Fishing
Fishing for the fish
Fishing
Waiting on a nibble
A crumb
An answer
Fishing for the fish
Thinking
Thinking about fishing
Fishing for a fish
Fishing from a boat
From a boat
Floating on water
Above the fish
Thinking about the answer
While fishing
Fishing from a boat
On the water
''Simple''
Simple images
Breezy
In shade
Humming
Frayed jeans, a shoe
Old leaves lying in green blades
Green blades
Of young grass
Stumps
Tree stumps
Straight face
Butterfly
Picture it
You are there
Again there is the ringing!
Ringing, humming
High-pitched buzzing
Constant, constant — always Constant
Ringing
Humming
Incessant high-pitched buzzing
Lop-sided hearing
Unbalanced, fearing
Ringing, humming
High-pitched buzzing
Tea, tea
Tea and cake
Hot tea, iced tea
Mint tea, black tea
Tea leaves floating
Green tea, herb tea
Zinger tea, chai, decaf
Strong tea, weak tea
Tea leaves washed
Peppermint, coconut, peach
Tea, tea, tea with ginger
Tea leaves drifting
Through my thoughts
Cold nap comfort
Resting in a chair
Wind is knocking at the window
My mind is napping
In the kitchen
Comfort frozen there
''Tangles''
Comb
Combing through
Combing through the tangles
Brushing
Brushing out
Brushing out what is loose
What is loose and tangled
If it is tangled will it loosen?
Shampoo this knotty disarray
This illusion of my dalliance
Steady house on one pier
Wild house, full house
Padded bungalow
How long ago
This unsteady house
on full pier and beam
Digging, digging
Digging for the future
Digging up the past for the future
Digging, digging
Digging up yesterday for today
Every beginning
Each hour comes
Upper, over, under
laid flat, gathered, picked
Counted, tagged
The grave shallow
The silence deep
High, low forgetful girl
Laughter turns to tears
Baby, baby, my girl Katie
Bubble gum and M&Ms
Cinnamon sticks and nail polish
Pushed into a loaded purse
Forgetful girl, forgetful me!
Shaking, gasping, sick again
Ready with a smile
High, lows up, down
How fast can you slide?
How slow can you stand?
Big is beautiful
But Big is crying
Beautiful is lacking
A thin view’s admiring
New year, past year
Next year, long year
Fiscal year, school year
First year, last year
''1950s''
My daddy was a drunkard
Mother taught me not to dream
Saturday dinner and beddie bye
Dishes fly to screams in the night
Early morning tiptoe through the house
My dress is starched and ironed real nice
Permed hair pulled back tight
Shoes shine and my smile is big
We walk into church
God on our side
Protecting us through the night
Daddy is home in bed
Drunk
A pillow covers his head
We tiptoe on return
Dishes fly, we run, we cry
Daddy leaves tomorrow
But, we have to make it through the night
A tiny sigh, a survivor’s relief
Daddy won’t beat Mommy for almost a week
''Middle of Nowhere''
Out on the edge of the middle of nowhere
My dog and cat give comfort
I remember where the brush stroke began
There was an excitement in the paint
It makes me feel good to look at it
Out on the edge of the middle of nowhere
My dog and my cat give comfort
A sprinkling of confusion surrounds me
Can I step out, walk away?
My dog and my cat follow me
Out from the edge of the middle of nowhere
My dog and my cat give comfort
My brush stroke’s song
survived the shambles
I am a painter who journeys
Out from the edge of the middle of nowhere
My dog and my cat give comfort.
These unsteady houses
Have darkest, dark gleanings
Stored within their weathered beings
Not even a really
Good cleaning
With carefully shined windows
And lemon-oiled doors
Can uncover the hoard
Buried beneath
Rug-covered boards
''poem 4/28/11''
fear lives in stagnant water
lives in stagnant water
stagnant cesspool
worn out, repetitive motion
flooding reasonable thought
binding heart, arteries
clogged with the past
fear holds me
with sleeping feet
in stagnant life waters
2011
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''poem 4/25-26/11''
list
making a list
to avoid reality
of doing
so, make a list
twelve lines long
cross a few lines out
move on
to follow a list
would define a plan
plans meant to be broken
at least changed
I mean, I wish I had
but I didn't
scratch that one off
2011
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''12:05 a.m., July 6 2009''
Night, night
Sleep tight
You are free to go
Sweet Mama bird
Into the dark minutes
Of this new day
Night, night
Sleep tight
Don't let the bed bugs bite
I hope your journey is light
No more obsessing and worry
Free bird soaring into the night
2009
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Desperate for Balance''
Whirring, buzzing, ring, ding
The head can’t find
Footsteps landing
Noises ping, voices ring
Pillowed falling in my dreams
Which way is down
Far, far away
Bile is rising up and over
All the while whirring, buzzing, ring, ping, dinging
Even when the spinning stops
Nothing is concrete
Deep in one ear rising
The ring, ding buzzing, whirring pings
Decorate my every thought
Lest I forget how close the spinning
Take the pills, forget the salt
Desperate for balance
Who takes me seriously?
No one sees or feels my dizzy deafness
One foot carefully placed in front of the other
Head turning left, right, up, down
Keep the orchestra playing low in routine
Least it burst forth
Blasting me down a forgotten hole
Much too deep for saving
2002
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Ode to Paula''
She had boxes and boxes
Piled high to the ceiling
She said she did not think
Boxes were appealing
She stacked them and moved them
From one place to another
But to her dismay
The boxes consumed her
They crouched and encircled
Her futon retreat
She lay with the remote
Snoozing, cruising cable TV
Moving closer, yet closer
The boxes united
Trapped her, boxed her
Relishing her stupor
August 31, 2002
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Hands, side by side
upon a rising chest
Paralyzed, frozen
Idle
Idle
Idle thoughts
Racing
Racing with hands paralyzed
Tortured mind
Playing on rewind
Over and over
A moment in time
Hands upon rising chest
Side by side
Paralyzed, frozen
Tortured mind on rewind
August, 2001
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Pie Trip''
Pie, pie
We are through with pie
I think we never liked it
Potato hills
With rolling trees
Through ribbon roads
On the Kiamichi Trail
We walk a path through town
Breakfast dining
With a window seat
Pie, pie, pie
I know we never liked it
Waiting, shuffling
We catch a breath
I buy a bag
We pack it
Trees
Beautiful, rolling hills of trees
Rolling on hills, endless hills
Tracing the dark, the light, the twisted
With our shaded eyes
Eye of brown
Eye of blue
In green these eyes are drowning
May 15, 2001
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''June Goodbye''
Surface, wind, twitter, song
Green reflection, gone
Garden pathway, wondrous song
We shared a time not long
2000
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Mom''
Garden digging
Music loving
Hymn singer
Floor sweeper
Shy accountant
Protector
Homemaking queen
June 2000
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Building up layers
Only the core
Was ever real
June 2000
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Tressa''
Brown hair, ear phones
Painting at an easel
Dancing, humming
Happy girl
Snacks in the hallways
Cardboard crackers with cheese
Sharing war stories
Tales of disease
Laughing, chatting
Relaxed in the dark
Listening to lectures
Babbling art
Laughing, smiling, winking
Cough
Reading Popol Vuh
Find feathered serpent
Over coffee with you
Art-show hopping
Name dropping
Shopping
Shopping for a man
June 2000
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Patterned walk ways of contemplation
Out of the valley of activity
Into a place of knowing
''Be still and know that I am God.''
June 6, 2000
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Morning sounds from my bed
Plants are growing, grass is seeding
Deep within a silent pleading
Paint is calling
My eyes are falling
Falling back into the mourning
What will take the place of you
Plants growing, grass blowing
All outside a sweet, sad pleading
And the paint is calling
February 15, 2000
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Slow, quiet, lazy
Acceptance, quiet acceptance
Where is the champagne
Why does my hip ache
How many pills do we take?
January 2000
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Chatting, rattling
Scraping, snort
Shuffling
September 1999
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Zephyr Betty Ann''
She curls her tail
Paws stretched forward, elbows low
Brown eyes shining
Curtsy she gives
Timed with a yawn
She is begging for treats
Our spoiled Betty dog
July 8, 1999
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Backyard gardening
A therapeutic process
Digging into the perennial rooting
Of the beauty of insanity
April 1999
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Fire Fly Free Thought''
lying flat, limp
shimmered salt
weak
picked over
slightly damaged
braided over top
point simple
front porch
summer waiting
breezy in the shade
humming
frayed jeans
old leaves lying
in green blades
of young grass
far away, I see you
dim images blend
into the night
stitching time
watching a firefly
in the garden
watching fire fly
laying in the yard
on a blanket
watching a firefly
1998
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Fishing''
Fishing
Fishing for the fish
Fishing
Waiting on a nibble
A crumb
An answer
Fishing for the fish
Thinking
Thinking about fishing
Fishing for a fish
Fishing from a boat
From a boat
Floating on water
Above the fish
Thinking about the answer
While fishing
Fishing from a boat
On the water
June 1998
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Simple''
Simple images
Breezy
In shade
Humming
Frayed jeans, a shoe
Old leaves lying in green blades
Green blades
Of young grass
Stumps
Tree stumps
Straight face
Butterfly
Picture it
You are there
June 1998
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Again there is the ringing!
Ringing, humming
High-pitched buzzing
Constant, constant — always Constant
Ringing
Humming
Incessant high-pitched buzzing
Lop-sided hearing
Unbalanced, fearing
Ringing, humming
High-pitched buzzing
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Tea, tea
Tea and cake
Hot tea, iced tea
Mint tea, black tea
Tea leaves floating
Green tea, herb tea
Zinger tea, chai, decaf
Strong tea, weak tea
Tea leaves washed
Peppermint, coconut, peach
Tea, tea, tea with ginger
Tea leaves drifting
Through my thoughts
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Cold nap comfort
Resting in a chair
Wind is knocking at the window
My mind is napping
In the kitchen
Comfort frozen there
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Tangles''
Comb
Combing through
Combing through the tangles
Brushing
Brushing out
Brushing out what is loose
What is loose and tangled
If it is tangled will it loosen?
Shampoo this knotty disarray
This illusion of my dalliance
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Steady house on one pier
Wild house, full house
Padded bungalow
How long ago
This unsteady house
on full pier and beam
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Digging, digging
Digging for the future
Digging up the past for the future
Digging, digging
Digging up yesterday for today
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Every beginning
Each hour comes
Upper, over, under
laid flat, gathered, picked
Counted, tagged
The grave shallow
The silence deep
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .High, low forgetful girl
Laughter turns to tears
Baby, baby, my girl Katie
Bubble gum and M&Ms
Cinnamon sticks and nail polish
Pushed into a loaded purse
Forgetful girl, forgetful me!
Shaking, gasping, sick again
Ready with a smile
High, lows up, down
How fast can you slide?
How slow can you stand?
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Big is beautiful
But Big is crying
Beautiful is lacking
A thin view’s admiring
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .New year, past year
Next year, long year
Fiscal year, school year
First year, last year
March 16, 1997
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''1950s''
My daddy was a drunkard
Mother taught me not to dream
Saturday dinner and beddie bye
Dishes fly to screams in the night
Early morning tiptoe through the house
My dress is starched and ironed real nice
Permed hair pulled back tight
Shoes shine and my smile is big
We walk into church
God on our side
Protecting us through the night
Daddy is home in bed
Drunk
A pillow covers his head
We tiptoe on return
Dishes fly, we run, we cry
Daddy leaves tomorrow
But, we have to make it through the night
A tiny sigh, a survivor’s relief
Daddy won’t beat Mommy for almost a week
March 13, 1996
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .''Middle of Nowhere''
Out on the edge of the middle of nowhere
My dog and cat give comfort
I remember where the brush stroke began
There was an excitement in the paint
It makes me feel good to look at it
Out on the edge of the middle of nowhere
My dog and my cat give comfort
A sprinkling of confusion surrounds me
Can I step out, walk away?
My dog and my cat follow me
Out from the edge of the middle of nowhere
My dog and my cat give comfort
My brush stroke’s song
survived the shambles
I am a painter who journeys
Out from the edge of the middle of nowhere
My dog and my cat give comfort.
December 5, 1994
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .These unsteady houses
Have darkest, dark gleanings
Stored within their weathered beings
Not even a really
Good cleaning
With carefully shined windows
And lemon-oiled doors
Can uncover the hoard
Buried beneath
Rug-covered boards